This is a short post… I hope.
Here it goes and it is to state that in my humble opinion; not all men are scum. Not all men are dogs. Not all men are animals. BY MEN HERE; I mean male human beings excluding babies, of course.
There is a lot of male bashing going on in the world right now. Sometimes it is based on repeated occurrences that potray men in negative light.
I am usually not one to lie about what my opinion is; I try to be as logical and objective as possible even though it is quite the task. I originally wanted to title this post; good people still exist, but then the focus would not be on men specifically and that is not the aim of this post. So, an alternative title would be; “Good Men/Gentlemen still exist”
I understand that there are terrible people in the world and some men are terrible; absent and useless fathers; irresponsible and indecent husbands; cheating, nagging, unresponsive and selfish boyfriends /fiance/husbands (even though there are women these description would fit; more men seem to align with these terms with an unabashed flagrancy.
Let me tell you the random instance that made me come to this conclusion.
Remember the day of the snake; That day, I had almost given up hope and I was exhausted from walking and the weight of my bag slowed me down. The street lights were practically almost all out and it was obviously not a safe journey for anybody at that time of the day. It was the perfect setting for a murder, kidnap, rape scene. It was seemed far different from the same road; I had driven through times without number.
I just muttered a prayer for God to keep me safe. Almost a minute later, a car pulled up beside me as it was slowing down beside me- I was close to pissed. “Not tonight” I muttered under my breath.
I am someone who hates free rides and lifts from random strangers especially male strangers. It i I usually give the benefit of doubt to people in a car, just in case, they want to ask for directions, but I never come too close.
If it turns out that it is not directions, but to ask for my number. I politely decline. Usually, one would figure out the reason the car is slowing down for by the way person/persons in the car talk to you as a female. If you hear “*squese me* fine girl… ” I don’t bother to stop if the man likes he can follow me to where I am going. He would not be the first. I was not in the mood to be followed. I did not have the energy.
For those that stop beside you before you notice them. You can infer from their conduct what they are after; when they look at you from head to toe and eye you like you are dinner or you are water in a desert.
P. S: If you are guilty of this, It is absolutely disrespectful to look at a member of the opposite sex, especially one you just met like this. Just stop it.
Anyways, So as the car comes to halt in front of me, I add to my prayer for safety in my head, I am like ” can you not stop. I am really not in the mood for wo-ran-wo-ran or any form of iranu; besides, this person could be the potential rapist, murderer or kidnapper. I tell myself and I make up my mind to pass by him in peace.
As I am passing by (slowly, because I am tired with a long way to go). He says “Hey. Where are you going to? “As he asked, I felt no contention in my spirit. He looked like a student, but not a freshman.He was not on the slim side physically. He was the only one in the car. A black or navy green quest. He was fairly handsome because he put on the car lights to talk to me and I was able to see his face . I replied and said where I was going to and he said “come in” and once again; I did not feel any form of hesitation in my mind or agitation in my spirit.
I am no Sherlock Holmes, but he looked like he was running errands for groçeries or going to buy fuel for his parents.He just had that look and (that look which could be deceiving anyways)was what removed fear of rape, murder or kidnap. I got into the car knowing in my spirit and mind that I would not be chloroform-ed* once I seat.
The experience worth blogging about : As I got into the car and placed my bag down and wore my seat belt. I expected him to talk to me, but naah. He did not. Do something cliche like ask for my number after your first three questions or say you are a very pretty girl and ask where I live. I mean. Basic introductions or anything. He said nothing, but drove on.
In this instance, my expectation was cut short. The usual pathetic display of woran–woran, but nope. He said nothing from the beginning to the end of the journey. As I got to where I was to alight; I said “Thank you so much” like three times and if he had asked me for my number, I would have given him in that moment; but he just said “You are welcome ” politely and drove off.
I stood there surprised by this simple act of kindness. Nothing dramatic or expensive or different. He did not take advantage of the fact that I was in His car. Some idiots would immediately get familiar to the extent of moving their hands to touch you just because you took a ride in their car . This guy was different.
As I walked to where the car that was to pick me had broken down. I had no name for this gentleman, no information. Nothing about him. If I meet him today, We would most probably pass by each other without recognizing it.
His music player was on in the car, so the silence was not awkward. The songs He was playing were not hillsong or Isreal Houghton. He was not an angel sent from heaven… He was just a regular guy that God used for me. No strings attached. No expectations and usually nothing is free in this world. Not even free rides, but this one was. No plot twists. I might have had to walk to my destination, but I did not. Thanks to God and this non-scum guy.
ANYways, the simple conclusion I have from the act of this guy is”not all men are scum”. “Not all men are cheating, lying bastards. I don’t know Anything about this man or guy. I might be wrong about him and he may be scum to other people, but not to me and for that. I say some men may be scum, but not all men are scum. I have numerous instances that men did not behave as scum. Direct and indirect experience.
I end with this; if you are a man; a cheat, liar, thief, rapist, murderer, anything that a low life or a scum would exhibit, it is never too late to change and make a good😇😷 impression and change yiur ways deliberately. Stop cheating or playing girls or people.
Stop yahoo yahoo. Stop swindling people or defrauding them. Stop commiting crimes and being unfair in your dealings with people. Be emotionally, physically and financially available to to your children. They learn how men behave from their father’s conduct first;
Now; even if your father is or was scum; you do not have to follow in his footsteps or assume everyone is like that.
THERE ARE GOOD MEN. GENTLEMEN STILL EXIST. GOOD, RESPONSIBLE FATHERS. REASONABLE AND OBEDIENT SONS. FAITHFUL HUSBANDS AND BOYFRIENDS. SOME MEN ARE NOT SCUM.
Thank you for reading. It was not a short post though.