TRUST ISSUES (KAMIKAZE )

The first time I heard the word “Kamikaze” was at the intro of a popular song in Nigeria at some point. It was “Yahoozee” by Olu Maintain. The song came with a  dance that drove people crazy, but that is besides the point. It sounded more like Kamakazee than kamikaze though. 


The dictionary meaning of Kamikaze means (Oxford ) : kamikaze1) An attack requiring the suicide of the one carrying it out, especially when done with an aircraft.2) One who makes an attack requiring his suicide, especially when done with an aircraft.

Now to the gist of the matter, 

Trust is very essential in a relationship. In any form of relationship, trust is important. Trust to  me is more than the dictionary definition of trust. Trust according to the dictionary  is defined as  : Confidence in or reliance on some person or quality. Some synonyms are : belief, confidence, expectation, faith,  hope.Trust is key in all aspects of our lives. 

WORK/PROFESSIONAL : You should be able to trust your colleagues, employees, bussiness patners for a healthy workplace.  You  should trust that people would be at work at a certain time. Carry out tasks properly and efficiently. You should trust that your lawyer knows what he/she is doing. You should definitely trust that your doctor knows what she/he is doing especially if you are going under the knife with them operating on you.


Social/(Friendship/family):  Friends should be trusted. Close friends should keep your secrets, console you in time of mourning and assist you in time of weakness. Family should do the same and much more. You should be able to trust that they would protect you. If you needed help. You expect and trust that they would be present for your events 

EMOTIONAL LIFE( Relationship/Marraige ): You should trust your spouse. Even though unlikely, it is highly possible for a person to be a trustworthy spouse even if they are terrible at work and not the greatest friends because marraige is too sensitive to carry bad characteristics into. For most marriages and emotionally inclined relationships, the seemingly most important area you need to trust your spouse or lover is  FIDELITY. 



You should trust that they would not cheat on you and stay faithful. It is key in every marraige or serious relationship. Adultery breaks homes because trust is easy to lose and hard to gain. 

Some people have personal trust issues . They are always worried that their spouse/patner/lover would cheat on them with or without reasonable grounds for suspicion. Such people are always suspecting what is and what is not. Usually, people like this may have been cheated on in the past and they have not recovered from it or became like that after watching other people’s relationships  and seeing bad things happen. Some people on the other hand did not get it from a personal bad experience or the experience of another person, but are just like that.  They find it difficult to trust people. 


People with personal trust issues can be hard to date or cope with. They are always on edge and when they combine it with constant investigation and bugging and nagging their spouse/partner  it can be tiring. Both genders are involved in this and people with physically attractive spouses who get a lot of attention for their looks or rich patners who have a lot of people flocking around them are most likely going to have trust issues; BUT A PERSON WITH PERSONAL TRUST ISSUES, does not need an attractive or rich patner to suspect infidelity. They do not need new reasons to suspect infidelity, they just have issues letting go and trusting. 


In some instances, constant cheating may cause the innocent spouse/partner  to lose whatever faith in the cheating spouse/partner . It is however unhealthy for both parties in a relationship with trust issues.  You cannot give your best to someone you don’t trust. 

Advice for People With Personal Trust Issues : If you are someone who has a hard time trusting, maybe because of your past experience, your parent’s experience or marraige or society generally. You need to give yourself a break. Being in a relationship is enough work/activity without adding other issues. You are putting  a lot of stress on your patner by your constant suspicion. It is bad for you and bad for them. 

Except you are dating a serial cheat. Till your patner gives you express reasons to believe he/she has  cheated, please let peace reign. For every new relationship, give the person his/her own report card and don’t continue grading on the scoresheet of another. When you are confronted with explicit evidence,don’t raise hail and brimstone, try to remain calm and show it to them. Let them affirm it with their own mouths.


Advice for cheats: As a christian, I am not one who advocates for sex before marraige. So the focus here is on the married people who are allowed to have sex with their spouse , but still go ahead to cheat. God is watching you and I mean it. 

Whether you are male or female, it is essential in marriage that you stay faithful to your spouse. IT IS ABSOLUTELY EMBARRASSING to cheat when married. If you are getting it at home from a faithful spouse, it would be better if you improve the sex at home, if you are bored or look for ways to spice things up rather than cheat. It is Disrespectful! If your spouse can not boast about you in public that since you got married, you have been faithful, then you’ve got serious improvements to make. It is not too late to change. 

Sexual starvation is wrong, but still not sufficient excuse to look outside. Your husband/wife especially if he/she is a good spouse,  would be dissapointed and heart broken to find out that you are cheating. Don’t kill your spouse with hypertension. God would bless you. 



Unnecessary p.s. : Sexuallly transmitted  diseases and demons are real, unwanted pregnancies are real, unplanned polygamous situations are real, death during abortions is also real. Sex is not just a mere physical activity.

Hebrews 13 : 4 – “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”

Advice for the noncheating spouse/partner : If you are with someone always accusing you of cheating and you are innocent.   Just calm down and reassure them that you are faithful . Some people are jealous and protective like that.I know It is Disrespectful from someone to keep accusing you of what you are not guilty of, but do what you can to make your marraige work. 

 
As a married man/woman, do not have unnecessarily close friendships/relationships  with members of the opposite sex. Do not maintain close friendships with an ex or crush when you are in a new relationship. Do not chat nor text or keep secret friends. If you say you are clean , try to do all you can to convince your spouse that you are clean. Do not stay out late or do things illicitly. Let peace reign. 

Finally, “Kamikaze” was the title of the article I read that made me want to write this post. The article talked about “kamikaze sperm “. It is a theory that states that when a man suspects that his wife is cheating, whenever he has sex with her and he ejaculate, 40% of sperm released are Fighter sperm called kamikaze sperm. Their job is not to ferterlize, but to fight another man’s sperm from ferterlizing the egg.  This however May decrease the chances of he himself getting her pregnant because only 60% is left to ferterlize. 

The theory is not proven, so it may be a lie.  It just goes to show how trust issue can affect things even to fertility. 

In summary, Cheat zero, trust more, pray most. God bless you. 

Bimidiah cares. 

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Drop/leave a comment on how people can battle trust issues, the causes and if you think the kamikaze sperm theory is true!  Please let me know what you think. 

Love you! 

 

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. ninaperdido says:

    Don’t I understand that…..
    I don’t need a lot of incentive to trust and when I do I trust completely and blindly, it’s a personal decision though but after a couple of disappointment I have learned not everyone is the same and taking a chance to trust is the best thing.
    One thing I’d like to state is that, if you know you can’t trust the person then don’t establish a relationship.
    Thank you for this Bimi💞

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ninaperdido, thank you for your comment.
      It is true that it is a personal decision though.
      I agree with you that you should not go into a relationship or get married to someone you do not trust.

      💜💜💜💜💜

      Liked by 1 person

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