In case you missed part 1, where I candidly explained what you should NOT do after a break up or death of a partner. I mentioned four things in part one… So let’s be candid, Here are some more things you should not do especially if you want to move on.
Click here to read, let’s be Let’s be candid! It is not that deep 1
Do not sleep with someone who has called things off with you or you have called things off with. By “sleep with them. “, I obviously don’t mean sleep beside them and you know I mean do NOT HAVE SEX with them or make love if that is what you want to call it or any form of physical intimacy you shared while the relationship was still on. Cut it out entirely!
Don’t MAKE OUT! Don’t touch! Please do not cuddle, abeg that is slow poison. Don’t do anything that couples do because you‘re not together anymore… Don’t dream of them, too…If you start dreaming! Wake up and pray! Lol. I’m serious. Don’t sleep over at their place too. What are you doing there in the first place? Don’t hold hands in the dark or be cute!
It is immaterial how great he/she was in bed or how the two of you scored A1 in your chemistry together! I don’t care if your underwear slips off when you are alone in the room, wear it back. I don’t care if electricity sparks fly when you hug… Stop hugging… Just stop.. If you think nobody can make you feel the way they did and no one can treat you right! NA LIE! BIG FAT LIE! The Holy spirit is the only one that can make you feel a certain way that no one else can replace… He is your parakletos, he would comfort you.
I wanted to say that this applies only to the living; but sadly this is not true.
Some cultures require spouses sleeping with the corpse of the dead partner. I think that is wrong, super wrong because a dead body is what it is “a dead body. ” – Once a person dies, spirit and soul are gone..”It is till death do us part” and when that happens, the marraige is over, THE END!
It’s just wrong to sleep beside or sleep with a dead partner!
If you really want to move on, please stop every intimate act you were involved in during the relationship! Dead or alive!
And plus biblical instructions, this is an extra incentive for you to try abstinence before marraige because you would not be bothered about a rising body count and moving on would be easier!
6) Attention :
I think calling and texting are key in a relationship like attention is essential. So when the things go sour, stop expecting or giving attention! You should NOT hang out with them, seriously! Do not go to the movies with them, or restaurants you used to visit, don’t go to your concert together or continue date nights… Stop calling them daily and do not spend the whole day talking to them like you used to… If he/she was your best friend, get a new one. Go out and meet new people, so you don’t fall into No 2 or No 3. Get a diary! Don’t call him/her to tell them about your day!!
If they have bought movie/concert tickets for you to go out, politely turn them down. I am not saying you cannot spend time with each other, but especially when the break up is fresh… reduce drastically the time spent together. From 4 times a week of planned hanging out! Switch it to once in two weeks if possible or not at all! This does not include unavoidable activities like work; church/mosque; school.
This calling and texting might be hard for someone who was in a long distance relationship that just ended. Don’t skype with them… You have a lot of free time on your hands now; read your bible or books. Invest in family and friends.. Help a neighbour clean..Get a new hobby! Start working out! Don’t go over to their house on your “hang out” day, so number 5 above does not happen. Get a pet, if that is what you need! I know this is not easy, but God bless you as you don’t call them all day!
7) Violence :
Lord knows that as I am writing this my hands don’t want to continue because there is no justification for violence in a relationship, before or after! I think it is madness.
No matter how bad your break up is, leave them alone! Don’t threaten them to come back or threaten to kill them! Don’t go to their house and start breaking things😠😈! Don’t burn thier clothes or property!
Please do not beat the new bae up! leave them alone! Don’t send thugs to deal with them for disgracing you publicly! Don’t kidnap them! To love is not by force o! Forget all the broken promises! Do not rape, drug or lure them! Neither should you submit their names to be dealt with spiritually! This may sound ridiculous, but don’t use them for money ritual! Some people can! Lol! IT IS NOT THAT DEEP!
8) REVERSE LOVE :
When I say, stop all you used to do that was part of the “we are a couple” life! I mean move from 1oo degrees boiling to 37 degrees or 0 degrees. Don’t go to – 100 degrees and become cold !
Although you should follow number 6, Do say hello when you see them, don’t snub them, but don’t prolong the gist into awkwardness. You should not bug them! But you SHOULD AT LEAST TEXT THEM on their birthday! You don’t have to go to their parties or stay for long If you do, but don’t play the roles you would have been expected to play at their event!
Don’t go from uploading lovey-dovey pictures on social media to writing bad things about them directly or indirectly! Don’t put a billboard up about how the person is a heartbreaker! Don’t write to Joro Olumofin insulting them with their names there. Don’t talk about the bad things they did to you to all your friends… Seriously, it’s not worth It! NO ONE IS WORTH THAT Effort and Time especially if they have clearly moved on from you.
I understand the need to vent, you can talk to one or two friends! But Don’t reel out their secrets and fetishes! Don’t tell the world about their STD or leak their nudes! The world does not need to know thier addictions and weaknesses except it is expedient! You would look like the bad person. You can always be the bigger person by talking to God! If there was domestic violence talk o!! WHETHER IT WAS FROM THE MAN OR WOMAN!
These are all together 8 points! I hope I have been able to pass this message across candidly! If you would like to have some more, let me know! Email me at Jesudunmolonge@gmail.com. I hope it was fun reading though! Leave a comment! Drop your email in the box below and follow on Instagram 🙂
P.s. : Bimidiah is King JESUDUNMO LONGE! To clear any confusion 😅😍😘😙😙
I LOVE YOU !!