What is the “REAL” value of your heart? 


“It is easy to talk while riding from a high horse about the laziness of those walking on the ground.” –  Kitara


Most people like to believe they are principled and strong. It is natural to think that your beliefs are unshakeable and firm and it’s fine to think  this way, most especially because if this is not the case;  then there is no point of holding beliefs.

Like how some christians think they cannot deny Jesus in the face of persecution or how people judge political officers and say they would do better if they were in their shoes and the truth is that you confidently say these things because you genuinely believe that your faith and discipline would course through whatever circumstances you may find yourself in. 

This is true even about our emotions. We believe that we would stand by our lovers or spouses  if  faced with external pressures…. Very tricky. 

I once told a friend that you may think you have values till you face certain circumstances. Circumstances that push you into  transformation or cause you to tone down or discard all your ideas, values and sometimes your entire belief system.

You may think you believe in abstinence till marraige till your mother is dying or only brother is dying and you have no money for the surgery to save his life and there is a chief who has been disturbing you and is willing to sleep with you or friends who make money from sleeping with people that can link you up. The question then is : Would you watch your mother die when you have the option of saving her? or watch your only sibling die when you could get the money and save them or give a chance to live. 

When I put it like that though! 

Is your heart or body an end to a means or a means to an end?  The end being family or money or finances or position or peace or security or marraige? or your love is just for love.? 

I read the story of a university student in one of the Nigerian private universities whose parents were affected by the recession early  this year and lost their very high paying jobs and her life and financial stability was thrown out of course. Her perfectly planned out future; she watched as perfectly planned future began move out of orbit. Her education; previously the least of her worries became a huge issue as she needed to pay her fees for her final year session and there was no money…. 

So she linked up with some girls who sleep with senators for money and fixed it  her own way. It was a hard decision to make according to her because she could not watch her years in school fall into nothingness.  It was a one time thing she never hopes to repeat…. 

A lot of people would judge her till they are in her shoes… Till you have walked a mile in the shoes of another… do not judge them.. That is not even the major message. 

The reality is that she if she was asked her stance on such  an act before her six figures earning parents lost their jobs;  she she would have said ” never! ”

A Nigerian tease phrase says “na condition make crayfish bend. ” meaning that  unforseen events and uncontrollable situations  cause previously unplanned unpleasant reactions.  

You say you love your spouse and say you cannot cheat on him or leave him till it’s Dangotes son or Bill gates’ son or anyone in power that is on your matter and pursuing you at all costs, then your husband starts annoying you! 

You say you love your wife, but then some younger girl comes on the scene with a body that can send you to your definition of heaven without hold up and then everything becomes a struggle.

You say you would be a great mother-in-law till your daughter-in-law does not take in after a year… Would you tell your son to be faithful or tell him to take shortcuts?  Asking the mother is even going too far.. 

As a husband whose wife cannot have kids AND IT IS CLEAR MEDICALLY THAT THE PROBLEM IS FROM HER… Would you go outside wedlock to have them or faithfully and prayerfully love her? 

Your handsome husband has diabetes or some medical ailment that puts him in a wheel chair or makes him a tomato… and cannot perform his conjugal duties… What would you do? How far can you go? 

How do you cope with your wife post-accident body with burns and Nobody can recognize her ? It is a different  matter when she has lost her shape due to pregnancy and post natal changes even though it is enough excuse for some people, but when  she can’t walk again, dress sexy again, cook or perform basic duties… What do you do? Do you cheapen out or stay because you LOVE HER. 

Nobody prays for evil… Nobody is perfect.. 

But is it true that everyone has a price?  

There is the popular joke about this question :

“If you were asked to pick between bae and a 100 million dollars. What will you pick? ” 

You can trust that 90% of people chose 100 million dollars… AND I UNDERSTAND WHERE THEY ARE COMING FROM….  For a million dollars, people woukld do it over and over let alone for 100 and besides it’s not marraige, just a relationship… 

But many people would break up marriage! 

For the young person reading this that is absolutely crazy about bae? What is it that can buy your love or take away your love asides the personal failings of your partner?  Trust me money can do a lot… The promos of a better life can do a lot… 

The taxi driver or the doctor? 

The minister’s daughter or the Hawker? 

The perfect body or perfect heart? 

“I can never cheat! “

“I can never raise a hand to my wife. “

Well.. “To form craze, no hard, na the walkabout round market na hin hard.. “

It is easier said than done. 

What can make your crayfish bend? Money? Family? Reputation?  Connections? 

TRUTH IS THERE IS ALWAYS A BETTER OPTION THAN THE PERSON YOU ARE WITH. Someone richer or/and more beautiful. Someone with more appeal; monetary or otherwise… Someone who is soft spoken, more romantic, in a higher position of authority, more submissive, has the figure that makes you spin… 

But if your spouse or the person you are currently with has taken (permit me to say. ) SHIT from you, Shunned distractions  And has been FAITHFUL  (Super important. )….  You should stay with them.

Not that you become a celebrity  And dump them or make money and lose interest in the girl or boyfriend of your youth… Don’t be cheap with your heart… Loyalty is priceless. 


Thank you for reading! 

May God continue to help us. 

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Please leave a comment! 

The bae or  1 – 100 million dollars! Bae sef would understand your answer! 

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11 Comments Add yours

  1. ninaperdido says:

    Bimi I want to kiss you right now, like seriously you’ve earned my utmost respect. This post is mind blowing, innovative cum amazing.
    Not many understand the value of loyalty, thank you for this.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nina, my Nina.
      Sometimes I don’t know what to reply to your wonderful comments.
      It’s almost like I subconsciously looks foward to your comment.
      Thank you for this comment once again…

      Liked by 2 people

      1. ninaperdido says:

        Thank you, thank you for writing. Thank for being you. Its a great pleasure to comment on your beautiful posts.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. And did I hear you say kiss 😕. I hope it’s not what I’m thinking?

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Maybe it’s exactly what you are thinking -lol- Remember not to judge!

        Liked by 2 people

        1. So I decided to slow my thought process to hear from her. Lmao 😂 😂 😂

          Liked by 2 people

      2. ninaperdido says:

        Lol. I hope so too

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Little wonder I had goosebumps when I heard Drake say the line “I got strippers in my life, but they are virgins to me” It’s not always greener on the other side. The ability not to judge is what I’d really encourage people to imbibe and the society would be better than it is right now. I so much dig your musing Bimidah. Too spot on.
    And for the relationship people. I have always hammered on it. Love will never and can never be enough. I will always find someone fairer, someone with a more glowing skin, someone with the darkest hair. But commitment does it more. Little wonder our parents generation had few divorce cases unlike this generation springing up. It’s sad.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. On the number of divorces though! That is scary! Not judging others is essential too.

      Liked by 3 people

    2. Commitment is essential. What is scary though is that our parent’s generation is getting infected with the divorce bug and to a certain degree I can almost understand why. Thank you for your comment.

      Liked by 3 people

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