The love I want – Bimidiah

I have been told that love is a beautiful thing! I have been told that lust is a different thing entirely! Yeah-I kinda agree- I guess 

In psychology class, I learnt of passionate and compassionate love and how over time, love becomes compassionate especially in older couples. 

I somewhat agree! 

I have read novels and stories about love head over heels,  love maddening and absolutely consuming. From Shakespeare to Harlequine  to Bantam to love song to silhouette books.  My high school days were spent reading romance novels back to back in delayed yet hasty consumptions.(I read other novels types like crime and academic books too! Before you judge me! )

From Romeo and Juliet to Jack and Rose of titanic , stories and plays of love above the ordinary, love beyond the average contemplation; love worth dying for. From twilight to me before you to beauty and the beast, movies which have played out love against all odds. 

By love here,  I mean romantic love, but not the regular one… no no no,  I mean above mediocre love, the love that men have betrayed countries for, killed for and would die for, love that is beyond race, ethnicity, religion that defies rules and overcomes adversity. Love that says I would love you till I die! If I am not allowed to love you, I would love you still.  

What pisses me off is when people say “Naah! Wo!  that kind of love is for movies… its not real, it’s a fairytale! ” 

“Don’t paint your head with flimsy ideas of love. It does not exist in reality! ”



But love that is passionate and compassionate at the same time, love that grows you and feeds you.  Love that can kill you, but keeps you on fire!  Alive! Love that can be a sexually explorative as possible, yet respectful and non abusive. Love that pushes you into betterment.  Love unselfish that allows for other healthy friendships and pursuit of excellence in other fields. 

See, that is the kind of love I want… Yes!  And I’m not settling for less! 

The love that is great under the sheets and outside the sheets!  The love that is worth staying for and WAITING FOR! 

The love that makes people jealous and not because you are showing off..I’m not a public display of affection type .. But I want a love people can see through because it is undeniably present – The kind that brings contentment with one’s life! 

A popular song says  :

As long as you love me, we could be starving, we could be homeless, we could be broke “

Nigerians would say yimu!  

Realistically speaking that love that goes through all this and remains, only comes out stronger! And although I’d rather not be homeless, broke and starving- But I want a love that if it came to that, we would stick. 

Nobody should tell me that it is not possible to have a great marraige !! Where both parties are happy, spiritually sound, where having sex or making love is a stable A1 AND BOTH PARTIES ARE INTELLIGENT and talk, exchange ideas,plan goals, play and are emotionally in sync and FAITHFUL!!!!

 No I’m not asking for perfection – The love potrayed in movies and in romance novels are not perfect -They have ups and downs! And real life does too with varying degrees

Chimamanda Ngozie Adichie’s Americannah  made me fall in love with Ifemelu and Obina‘s love because it is love that does not leave you, love that chases you, love SUPER PASSIONATE AND YET HIGHLY COMPASSIONATE!  Love that knows that you have options, but mbanu, yourheart is with this person even when you consciously leave them

I was not happy he had to leave his dutiful wife, in my opinion he should have waited for Ifemelu and never gotten married!! I’m a Christian and I do not support divorce especially not one that happened because your ex girlfriend of your university days came back into the country ! But still that is an example of love that eats at the edgs of your sanity at seperation but is not against absolute sense – 

That through kids, life, stress, pregnancy, fights, deaths of loved ones and financial issues, the love stays strong! 

That no matter how old you get together, your kisses still sends you spinning and their smile lights up your face, leaves you blushing with grey hairs on your heads! and you would not have it any other way! 

Love that is annoying, naughty, beautiful and blissful!  Not that you are absolutely dependent on each other, but that you understand that you need each other and your love is dependent on God!
If you are unmarried ! 

This is the kind of love you should pray for! And trust me, I’m praying for love my children can pray to have! A LOVE WHERE WE ARE BEST FRIENDS AND AMAZING LOVERS! 

If you are married and you are still doing, culture does not allow for the excessive expression of such a love or children have killed your spark or you know that you do not love your spouse, please God is love,he died for love!  He is a giver of love and he can still give you that love if you ask him and put your heart to it! You can make it happen! It’s not too late

If they have not said “your wife has jazzed you ” or tagged you love in tokyo! ” Then please ma/sir, step up your game! If your children cannot pray for your type of marraige, then I doubt your love is the kind I’m talking about! 

I want two hearts beating as one with goals and dreams to be fulfilled in their respective careers! 

In summary, this love should help you pursue God and winning souls for him as a Christian couple! 

Remember April is our month of love!  Show love spread love 

Leave a comment!  Do you believe this kind of love exists  or do you think I’m asking for too much, let me know what you think – Is it not possible? 

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With love overflowing, 



8 Comments Add yours

  1. Tife says:

    Definitely exists but super rare! Sometimes Too dangerous to expect but I’m willing to dive in!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you
      I agree that it exists
      And maybe it’s rare, but as rare as it may be – I’ll have that love
      Thanks Tife

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Ipuna Black says:

    I definitely think this kind of love exists. If you find it, hang on to it! You bring up so many great points.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Ipuna Black
      I would Definitely HANG ON to it

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Love is not the feeling I have for you,
    Nor the feeling you have for me,
    But what we have for each other.
    That is the binding force that makes us one,
    So when people see me they see us.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Beautiful! C hiderah

      Liked by 1 person

  4. ninaperdido says:

    This is beautiful. Nice post. I can so relate.

    Liked by 1 person

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